Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There are argumentative perspectives heating a debate over
people
’s concerns in lives While
some hold a strong view that doing a
research Remove the article
apply
of
ancestral Change preposition
on
tree
plays a paramount significant role, the opposites claim a statement that the present and future generations should be concentrated. From my point of view, each has its own redeeming feature so Fix the agreement mistake
trees
that
it is optimal to combine both mentioned aspects.
Without a shadow of a doubt, it is comparatively imperative for Correct word choice
apply
people
to understand more about the history of their family. That might be because, by doing so, people
can raise an awareness of the tradition and value of family so that it will be preserved more carefully, especially vocational skills. For instance
, a myriad of traditional occupations such
as carpentry, pottery or weaving can be cited as the most compelling examples which need to be not only preserved but also
spread to the next generations in order to avoid disappearing. Hence
, ancestral background exploration acts as a pivotal part in
Change preposition
of
people
's concentration.
While
the conducive aspect of family ancestry investigation is widely acknowledged, concentrating on the present and future generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
also
should be put priority on
Change preposition
in
people
’s lives. It is obvious that those people
are able to be present and lend a hand promptly when they have troubles. For example
, when having financial difficulties, mental concerns or being redundant, parents, cousins or siblings are the one
humans can turn to for help. Correct pronoun usage
ones
Hence
, people
should focus in the form of spending time looking after them or strengthening the bonds among family members.
In conclusion, both the past, present or
future of the family tree need to be highly concentrated by Correct word choice
and
people
.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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Task Achievement
Clarify your position early in the essay to guide the reader more effectively. Although your conclusion reflects a balanced view, integrating this viewpoint in the introduction can enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Enhance the development of your examples by providing more detailed illustrations or real-life scenarios. This can make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.
Coherence & Cohesion
Employ a wider variety of linking phrases and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs for smoother transitions. This can improve the flow of your essay and make your arguments more coherent.
General
Review and correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasing throughout your essay. Clear and correct language use supports your arguments and improves readability.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite