IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people prefer to live in hot climates, whereas others love the lifestyle in countries with cold climates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #climates #love #lifestyle #countries
It is often argued by some that they prefer to live in warmer
areas
,
whereas
, others would enjoy the lifestyle of colder nations.
Although
 both types of
weather
 have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 characteristics from my point of view, I prefer to live
moderate
Change preposition
in moderate
show examples
 conditions.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both types of climate followed by an opinion as to which one is better. First and foremost, some
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 bodies are
such
 that they cannot stand the cold so they prefer warm
weather
.
For example
,
such
people
 like to bask in the sun and drink tea in hot tubs.
Furthermore
, if the temperature drops below 10 degrees,
people
 can die because many
people
 have breathing
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
due to
 the low temperature.
On the other hand
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 cannot bear the scorching heat and are used to living in chilly provinces. Society who are born in colder territories cannot stay a long period in the hotter area because their DNA would urge them to go back from where they belong
also
 they are brought up
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 can experience the lifestyle in hotter
areas
 but trust me they will not
last
 long the same opposite happens with the community who want to stay in colder
areas
.
In addition
, living in
humid
Add an article
the humid
show examples
 and cold
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
 reduces age-related diseases in older
people
. Folk who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 in
cols
Correct your spelling
cold
show examples
 climates have much higher immunity and they are hardworking and prosperous.
Therefore
, residing in the chilling
areas
 has its own benefits. In conclusion, there are enough advantages and disadvantages of both
weather
Change to a plural noun
weathers
show examples
. Personally speaking, I prefer temperate
weather
 because our country has a temperate climate.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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