Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations

There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over historical research.

While

some claim that it is vital for

people

to discover their historical background, the opposite makes a statement that concentrating on the current and next

generations

plays

such

a paramount significance role.

While

each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned elements. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is

such

an immense necessity to research family background.

This

due to

the fact that discovering can assist

people

to have more understanding about their family tree so that they can preserve tradition and vocational skills. To be more specific, pottery, weaving and embroidering can be cited as some appealing examples that need to be conserved family traditional skills and transmitted to the subsequent

generations

in order to avoid disappearing.

Therefore

, discovering family background contributes

abundant

Change preposition

to abundant

show examples

vital factors.

While

the essence of diving

Change preposition

into

show examples

historical information about the family is widely acknowledged, focusing on nowadays and the upcoming

generations

also

crucial for

people

This

is owing to the fact that these persons are to be present and appear promptly when

people

are in an emergency circumstance. To be more particular, when

people

have financial difficulties, parents, siblings, cousins, and relatives are the ones whom

people

can turn to for assistance.

Moreover

people

need to focus on in the form of spending time and looking after these

people

in order to strengthen family bonds.

Hence

, it is

also

vital for

people

to contrate on their current and future

generations

. In conclusion, from my point of view, discovering historical aspects of family and focusing on the generation in

this

day and age

as well as

in the upcoming days both have essential impacts.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Jan 30 2023

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Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples that directly illustrate the arguments you are presenting. For example, when discussing the preservation of traditional skills, include a brief narrative or a case study.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structures and linking phrases more to improve the readability and flow of your essay. Utilizing a wider range of connectives can help your argument appear more sophisticated.

Task Achievement

Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes both views and clearly reiterates your own stance without introducing new information.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way to commute. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that international sporting events are the ideal opportunity to show the world the qualities of the hosting nation. Others believe that these events are mainly a large unjustifiable expense. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that interview is not reliable method of choosing whom to employ and there are other better methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many nations , only a minority of young people are willing to do unpaid community service . There are many arguments that shows many negative outcomes because of this problem and the best solution are in demand .

In many places New homes are needed but the only space available for building them is in the countryside some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there what is your opinion about this