Some people think that the inteernet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
It is often argued that the
internet
helps people
to be closer to each other, however
, others have an opinion that communities are becoming more isolated. This
essay will discuss both points of view and my opinion.
On the one hand, the internet
brings people
together by allowing them to connect and communicate with others from all parts of the world. Moreover
, it provides a platform for sharing information, ideas and also
experiences creating a sense of community and fostering relationships. For instance
, a lot of people
found like-minded people
on social media and became friends in real life. Secondly
, via a network, people
can find and talk with their relatives who live in remote areas, also
when they have no opportunities come to them. For example
, due to
the fact that I do have not enough money to come to my folks, the internet
allowed me to communicate with them.
On the other hand
, the internet
also
has drawbacks. Firstly
, the internet
has an impact on interpersonal relationships. Besides
, based on existing researchers , it is believed that frequent usage of the internet
distracts users from their offline life and can lead to internet
addiction, For instance
, this
kind of addiction has been proven to affect social and interpersonal skills, which may further
affect their relationships with other people
. Another issue is the networks can increase negative emotions such
as triggering depression and anxiety, resulting in poor psychological status. In addition
, people
tend to share their daily lives on social media causing them to make comparisons with other lives. By way of illustrations, this
makes people
more pessimistic about their body image and stan of living which affects their mental health.
Taking everything into consideration, it is clear that
the internet
has pros and cons which depend on how you use this
tool. In conclusion, I prefer to believe that the internet
is very beneficial if you use it wisely.Submitted by dementevas256 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that all sections of your essay are equally developed and balanced. For instance, while you have provided examples in both supporting and opposing views, the explanations can be more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to avoid occasional awkward phrasing. For example, 'due to the fact that I do have not enough money to come to my folks' can be rephrased as 'since I don't have enough money to visit my relatives.'
coherence cohesion
Try to make your ideas flow more smoothly between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to connect different parts of your essay.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You have made a clear conclusion that summarizes your opinion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples that help illustrate your points well.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, setting the stage for your arguments and summarizing them effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.