Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development

In the era of network development, how

people

communicate with others is different from how they did before. With the internet, they can get in touch with each other anytime, even those who are in other countries. I am of the opinion that

this

is a kind of positive trend for the members of the public. In the past, the only way of communication was by letters. Even if

people

could use it to make contact with each other, compared with now, it was much more inconvenient. The reason for

Correct pronoun usage

this

show examples

was that they could not respond immediately and the receiver might wait a long time

for receiving

Change preposition

to receive

show examples

the messages.

However

, now,

people

have a variety of methods to communicate with others

due to

some applications

such

as What’s App, FaceTime, Line, and so on.

Moreover

, because of them, the distance between humans is shortened.

For instance

, individuals can use video calls to chat with another person who stays abroad, which is like talking with one face to face.

Also

, instant messaging enables them to acquire the latest news from others. Personally,

this

current development can be seen as a positive trend. It brings many benefits to

people

Besides

, the geographical boundaries seem to be eliminated by technology. It means that they probably do not suffer any more from the means of outdated communication.

To sum up

, with modern technology, the life of each other becomes much closer than in the past.

This

completely affects the relationship between them a lot. Maybe in the future, there will be another large change in human being’s life.

Submitted by k91030525 on Mon Jan 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and impactful

task achievement

The response does not fully address all aspects of the task. The essay should explore both the positive and negative effects of technology on relationships.

lexical resource

The essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.

grammatical range

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Strive for clearer and more accurate expression.

Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Interact
Social media platforms
Networking
Instant messaging
Face-to-face interaction
Misunderstandings
Emotional context
Superficial connections
Deceptive identities
Privacy concerns
Social skills
Video calls
Online presence
Digital communication
Cyber relationships

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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers or footballer. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead.

International sporting events are costly and bring problems to the hosting country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your position

In many countries, the age of criminals is getting lower. Give reasons and solutions to the problem. Support your position with relevant examples.