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Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #relationships #development
In the era of network development, how
people
 communicate with others is different from how they did before. With the internet, they can get in touch with each other anytime, even those who are in other countries. I am of the opinion that
this
 is a kind of positive trend for the members of the public. In the past, the only way of communication was by letters. Even if
people
 could use it to make contact with each other, compared with now, it was much more inconvenient. The reason for
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
 was that they could not respond immediately and the receiver might wait a long time
for receiving
Change preposition
to receive
show examples
 the messages.
However
, now,
people
 have a variety of methods to communicate with others
due to
 some applications
such
 as What’s App, FaceTime, Line, and so on.
Moreover
, because of them, the distance between humans is shortened.
For instance
, individuals can use video calls to chat with another person who stays abroad, which is like talking with one face to face.
Also
, instant messaging enables them to acquire the latest news from others. Personally,
this
 current development can be seen as a positive trend. It brings many benefits to
people
.
Besides
, the geographical boundaries seem to be eliminated by technology. It means that they probably do not suffer any more from the means of outdated communication.
To sum up
, with modern technology, the life of each other becomes much closer than in the past.
This
 completely affects the relationship between them a lot. Maybe in the future, there will be another large change in human being’s life.
Submitted by k91030525 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and impactful
task achievement
The response does not fully address all aspects of the task. The essay should explore both the positive and negative effects of technology on relationships.
lexical resource
The essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings. Strive for clearer and more accurate expression.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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