IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many people send and receive emails in business and in their personal life. Do the advantage of using the email outweigh they disadvantages?

#people #emails #business #life #advantage #email
Sending and receiving
emails
 has become so popular among people, whether in their personal or professional lives.
While
 there are some drawbacks associated with using
email
 in business and personal life, I believe the main benefits are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of business and personal use of
emails
 may be the risk of being hacked.
Email
 accounts can be vulnerable to cyberattacks, leading to illegal access to sensitive information.
This
 can have violent consequences, particularly in a professional
email
 where secret data may unfold. Another perceived negative is that
email
 notifications can be distracting. The alarm of messages can disrupt work and personal activities, reducing
overall
 efficiency and focus.
For instance
, when individuals are in the middle of an important meeting, a notification can diminish their concentration.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of using
email
 is its convenience.
Emails
 allow users to communicate quickly and efficiently, regardless of time and location, making it an essential tool for both business and personal interactions.
This
 feature facilitates collaboration and coordination when people are in different places.
For example
, they can send
emails
 from all over the world and connect with their friends, relatives, and colleagues. A
further
 benefit is that
email
 is cost-effective. Sending
emails
 causes fewer costs compared to traditional paper mail or phone calls, making it an economical choice for regular communication, especially for businesses that want to reduce expenses. On balance, it is true that personal and professional usage of
emails
 would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of convenience and cost-effectiveness override the disadvantages, making it a crucial tool for communication in our fast-paced world.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity in your ideas, try to avoid minor grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. For example, 'violent consequences' could be better phrased as 'serious consequences.'
logical structure
Including more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases can enhance the logical structure of your essay, helping to link your ideas more smoothly.
relevant specific examples
While you provided relevant examples, including even more specific cases can further strengthen your points. Try to use examples that are highly relevant and detailed.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, both effectively framing the main argument.
complete response
You provided a comprehensive response to the task, and your main points are generally supported with relevant arguments.
logical structure
The essay is generally well-organized, with clear separation of ideas and paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Timely Decisions
  • Cost-Effective
  • Written Record
  • Accessibility
  • Environmental Benefits
  • Information Overload
  • Security Risks
  • Cyber-attacks
  • Phishing
  • Impersonal
  • Personal and Professional Relationships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: