Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With the advancement of modern technology and civilization,in contemporary discourse, there exists a viewpoint asserting that communal webbing sites have a pessimistic effect on both personal and communities.
This
perspective underscores long-term strategic foresight.However
,This
essay aims to delve into the merits and drawbacks of ideology,exploring its implications for both individuals and societies.
On the first side ,it is important to acknowledge that utilizing the net in every sector holds a pervasive allure.This
perspective posits that active participation in social networking sites not only facilitates instant global connection and knowledge sharing but also
fosters a sense of universal communication.Moreover
, if people use responsively,these media can serve as strong tools for social activity and community building.For instance
,there is a vast marketplace on Facebook as e-commerce ,the web platform has had a profound result on recruitment and hiring as well and professional apps like LinkedIn are important social news platforms for anyone looking for an employee or job .Additionally
, businesses ha
ve realised that they can use community-based news from online such
as Google ,Facebook, YouTube, Instagram,Twitter and so on.
On the flip side ,proponents of meticulous scrutiny argue that the website is a relatively newer technology,hence
,it is a little difficult to establish its long-term positive and negative consequences.Nevertheless
,the heavy practice of civilized media platforms increases the risk of depression,self-harm,anxiety,and loneliness.In addition
,long practice on this
platform makes you addicted to checking out what other people are doing.For example
,FOMO is an exacerbated feeling that other people are living better or having more fun compared with you.Thus
,this
feeling can be a habit to check your notifications every second ,just to make yourself better.
In conclusion,I vehemently believe that these cannot outweigh their advantages.Balancing the benefits and demerits is essential for harnessing the potential of these platforms without compromising personal well-being and societal harmony.Submitted by Alma Islam on
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Task Achievement
The introduction of the essay presents a broad claim but lacks a clear thesis statement that outlines the writer's own position clearly, which is expected in the task response. To improve, ensure the introduction includes a concise thesis that reflects the writer's opinion regarding the extent to which they agree or disagree with the statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay demonstrates some organization of ideas but often lacks clear progression between them, limiting the coherence. Sequencing arguments logically, using clear topic sentences for each paragraph, and cohesive devices can enhance the logical flow of information throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The main points are identified but need to be developed further with more detailed explanations, exemplifications, and relevant, supporting details. To elevate the essay, include specific examples and evidence that back up the claims made, and ensure that each paragraph elaborates on a single, clear point related to the overall argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?