Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that the government should invest in
railways
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instead
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of reconstruction of the roads. It is thought that
trains
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give more benefits. I strongly agree with
this
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statement, because
railways
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are more eco-friendly and solve
traffic
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problems. Owing to the problems which a growing of global warming on the earth one of the effects of air pollution by vehicles. Investing in
railways
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,
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apply
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is the same as investing in the good quality of fresh air. For explain, building public
transportation
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can lead to fewer vehicle users.
As a result
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, public
transportation
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can reduce pollution which makes it healthier for citizens.
Additionally
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, using public
transportation
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can lead to more walking which can build healthy habits.
On the other hand
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, investing in public transport can help tackle the problem of
traffic
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congestion and decrease car or motorcycle accidents. As a growth population increases the number of cars or motorcycles, can result increasing the proportion of accidents on the road.
For instance
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, In Japan, the government invests in
trains
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and gives the highest taxes to vehicle users.
As a result
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, many of their citizens use
trains
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rather than their own vehicles, resulting in the lowest of the
traffic
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and less of accidents. In conclusion, investing the public
transportation
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gives more benefits to the earth and the citizens. Prioritizing building the
trains
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can reduce deterioration and is key to the problems of the growth of the population of vehicle users. I believe the best approach to tackling deterioration issues and
traffic
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is investing in
railways
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through the reconstruction of the roads.
Submitted by dliyaa on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, maintaining a balanced focus on the advantages of investing in railways over roads. Ensure to fully develop each idea to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness.
task achievement
Work on providing additional specific examples or data to reinforce your main points. This can help to further support your argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are organized effectively with clear paragraphs. Try to refine the logical flow of arguments with transitional phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from one point to the next.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and word choice to improve readability and precision. This will help in conveying your message more distinctly.
organization
Your essay contains a relevant introduction and conclusion, which neatly frames your argument.
content
You have successfully highlighted the environmental and societal benefits of railways, making a strong case for their priority.
content
There is a strong and clear personal viewpoint throughout the essay, which helps to create a persuasive argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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