IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people change their jobs and career do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #change #jobs #career
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In the
ultra modern
Add a hyphen
ultra-modern
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 epoch,it is a point of debate that
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of young individuals modify their occupations
as well as
Linking Words
 professions.There are umpteen
of
Change preposition
apply
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benefits and drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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this
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 topic.The upcoming paragraph would shed light on my argument related to conception and will lead to a logical conclusion. Moving towards the merits first and foremost one is
Add an article
a
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high incentive if individuals
change
Use synonyms
 their designation they will reach on
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
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 salary
of
Change preposition
apply
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package.
However
Linking Words
,
transform
Wrong verb form
transforming
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 the
organisations
Change to a genitive case
organisation's
organisations'
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 crowds will explore different experiences.Adding more to it people
also
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 enhance their skills and knowledge.Apart from that changing of profession and company masses will
also
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 get a high position of promotion.
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 people
also
Linking Words
 get
a
Remove the article
apply
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
lot
 of new
apportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in their life.
while
Linking Words
 individuals
also
Linking Words
 will
benifit
Correct your spelling
benefit
 to get
flexible
Add an article
the flexible
a flexible
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 time of working. Probing ahead
towrds
Correct your spelling
towards
 the demerits if employees always
change
Use synonyms
 their
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 and work they will face a lack of stability.Moving
further
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 they will waste so much time and money to
change
Use synonyms
 their designation.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
,Additionally
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 employees will cannot
growth
Replace the word
grow
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 in their profession and life
for example
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 if the worker
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 his time and extra effort to
in
Change preposition
apply
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one company for 2 years after that if the employee suddenly
Use synonyms
change
Change the verb form
changes
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 his designation and profile
then
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 he
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to start again from
begin
Change the form of the verb
beginning
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.
To conclude
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,
change
Use synonyms
 is the way of the world so,everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
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right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to
change
Use synonyms
 their profession and career for their growth
of
Change preposition
in
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 life but before they modify their career they should have to see their position
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 money.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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