IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that we should do research into their family history. Others, agree with the view that we should focus on the present and future generations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #research #history #focus #future #generations
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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the necessity of knowing about family trees. Some claim that it is crucial to do so,
whereas
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 the opposite holds a strong view that concentrating on the present and coming life is more vital.
While
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 each has its own perks, I would contend that it is optimal to combine both mentioned opinions. Without a shadow of a doubt, doing research into a family background brings a wealth of benefits.
However
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, the most common one is developing a deeper understanding of the hardship that our ancestors have been through in order to be grateful
toward
Change preposition
for
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 what they have sacrificed
for
Change preposition
apply
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.
For instance
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, In Vietnam, every house has altars to worship their fathers by offering incense. It is a way to remind and pay respect to the origin.
Therefore
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, a better understanding of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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family history plays a paramount significance. On the sharp contrary, others agree with
a
Correct article usage
the
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 view that we should focus on the moment and future generations rather than the previous time. Obviously,
family
Add an article
the family
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 historical background can not apply to some aspects of life
such
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 as
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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,
schooling
Correct word choice
and schooling
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, to name a few.
Instead
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 of spending too much time looking back at the past, we should pay attention to the present and
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 age.
For example
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, investing money in young people's education is a worthy way to develop not only their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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 but
also
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 the country.
Hence
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, taking notice of the younger generations is
of
Change preposition
apply
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importance
Replace the word
important
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.
To sum up
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,
besides
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 doing research into the root of
family
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the family
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, the present and following generation needs to be focused on too.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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