Society now has the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world, due to the improvement of automation. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Society now has the liberty to work and live anywhere in the world
due to
the improvement of transmission automation and transportation. In my opinion, the merits of this
outweigh the demerits.
On the one hand, it is important to note that, nowadays, with the expansion of machinery, our lives have significantly improved, as now we can travel the world and visit other countries compared to society 20 years ago. Back in those days, folk did not have the freedom to act upon how they felt, and it was always the same for everyone. Common sense ruled the lives of people, not allowing them to experience new insights, which was mostly the result of being concerned about others’ opinions. On the contrary
, in the 2020s, with the development of expertise, the population can study for double masters, take PhD courses, and even work abroad. With the use of online platforms such
as WhatsApp, Skype, and Zoom, you can talk with anyone of your choice from the comfort of your home.
On the other hand
, it is important to remember that advantages are not always for our good. They can make someone extremely lethargic and infertile,
because it is in our human nature to always pick the easiest path for ourselves. The other drawback of having advanced automation would be its price. Utilities Remove the comma
apply
such
as vacuum cleaners, washing machines, and television boxes surely make our lives easier, but the prices are undeniably eloquent, so no one can afford them except the rich. The abusive relationship between the poor and prices is considered unfair. Why should the poor fall for the schemes made by the big brother, who is on top of the Monopoly Chain?
In conclusion, it is safe to say that, in my opinion, no matter how much technology has put us forward, it hasn’t put us too forward to help the poor and underprivileged. We should always be kind to others and always help those in need.Submitted by checkmyessay9 on
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task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure you address both advantages and disadvantages in greater depth. While you have highlighted the major points, more specific examples and in-depth analysis would support your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a single main idea. For coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of linking devices to connect ideas smoothly and naturally.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points while offering a personal perspective.
logical structure
There are good logical transitions between paragraphs which help the reader follow your line of thought. The structure of the essay is well-organized.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite