IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The maps below show how a coastal town developed between 1950 and 2007.

The maps below show how a coastal town developed between 1950 and 2007.
The diagram shows developments which took place in a coastal town over the given period.
Overall
Linking Words
, more public buildings and residences had been built by 2007.  
According to
Linking Words
 the first map, most of the space was covered by grassland, which was divided into two parts by a main
road
Use synonyms
 that led right to the seaside. At the
north west
Correct your spelling
northwest
show examples
 of the map, three buildings were situated right at the top of the industrial area.
Also
Linking Words
, on the other side of the map, a car
park
Use synonyms
 was located which was connected to the sea by the central
road
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the car
park
Use synonyms
 and the industrial area were linked by a small
road
Use synonyms
 crossing to the main roads.  In 2007, all the grassland was removed and replaced by some development. The western savanna was replaced by public buildings or facilities, which were a
park
Use synonyms
, a swimming pool, a multi-stories car
park
Use synonyms
, and a cinema from north to south.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the north of the town , a marina was built
among
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the seaside.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, grassland was used for residences,
such
Linking Words
 as apartments and houses.
In addition
Linking Words
, the main
road
Use synonyms
 was expanded and some shops were along the north of
this
Linking Words
road
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words road, park with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: