money doesnt make happiness do you agree or disagree?

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happiness can not be persuaded with money.

While

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some individuals claim that cash brings up enjoyment into their

life

Use synonyms

, I would contend that it is not a primary component that contributes to joy and pleasure in one's

life

Use synonyms

. on the one hand, it is claimed that earning more profits and a higher salary can bring a greater level of happiness.

to begin

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this

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modern world became materialistic in recent years .it seems likely those who are wealthier would meet their basic needs

such

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as having a huge house, food, and an automobile.

also

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, provide more comfort and enjoyment for themselves and their loved ones.

secondly

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, social media and advertisements are considered famous and powerful people as

cheerful

Add an article

a cheerful

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. and

this

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might lead to affect individuals' thoughts to connect wealth with well-being.

Nonetheless

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on the other hand

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, it is believed that wealth often brings dissatisfaction.

firstly

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, wealthy people are not able to devote sufficient time to their families and friends and relax after an exhausting day indeed.

this

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might result in more consequences

such

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as feeling madness and

also

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suffering from depression.

consequently

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, they would forget the truly important things in

life

Use synonyms

such

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as their families, their friends, their love, and their health. in conclusion,

while

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it might be correct that money provides an opportunity to obtain a luxurious and high-quality

life

Use synonyms

, I would support that

argue

Replace the word

argument

show examples

that happiness comes when individuals feel satisfied with what they have.

babaeifateme9776Tue Jan 31 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

237 words

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money doesnt make happiness do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that it is better for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Some people believe that newspapers are the best way to read the news. others, however, think that websites are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important fo people. why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?