In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Over the past few decades, whether we like it or not, a remarkable growth in individualism can be seen through numerous amounts of nations, where communities are prioritizing personal intentions above other assertions,

this

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undoubtedly has triggered an untold amount of debate among various folks, which I consider it as an advantageous trend. To commence with, enormous importance has been laid on the above-mentioned scenario. First and foremost, some groups of society hold that people who are focusing on themselves not only would face a wide range of opportunities to achieve their

life

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goals but

also

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their sense of

life

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satisfaction significantly soar.

Nonetheless

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, individuals’ productivity

as well as

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efficiency could increase. A single mother who puts her mental health improvement as a priority

consequently

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acts properly as a parent.

Secondly

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, another merit of individualism is that those who prioritize themselves have a greater chance of reaching their intention in distinct areas of

life

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such

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as business, education, etc. An adolescent who was raised in a family where all his siblings are doctors prioritize his interests to choose a major related to art, could benefit him later on in his

life

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To conclude

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, the necessities

along with

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the attitudes and aptitudes connected to the topics clarified above demonstrate, that

although

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people may vary in their point of view, individualism plays an indispensable role in increasing productivity and efficiency

such

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as people would act more sophisticated in both their personal and social status.

maryam.niknammTue Dec 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

While there is a structure to the essay and an attempt to create an argument with an introduction and conclusion, the overall logical development of ideas could be much stronger. The connections between ideas are somewhat unclear due to grammatical and structural issues, which affects the argument's clarity.

task achievement

You addressed the task partially, with a clear position throughout the essay. However, the ideas need to be developed more fully with further expansion and clearer focus. Using a wider range of sentence structures and more precise vocabulary could also enhance the response. Additionally, including specific, detailed examples would strengthen the argument further.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fosters
innovation
autonomy
align with
excessive
social isolation
community bonds
solely
social classes
entrepreneurship
economic development
empathy
societal cohesion
collective well-being
vulnerable

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In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

You are experiencing financial problems and want to ask your landlord if you can pay your rent late. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain: Why you are writing to him Why you cannot pay the rent When you will pay the rent.

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think educated people more valuable than people who learned skills through experience Do you think educated people are more valuable for society? What kind of skill can people learn through experience that can benefit society?