IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Produced of Cotton between 2004 and 2018 in the leading nations

#cotton #nations
Produced
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Cotton
 between 2004 and 2018 in the leading nations For more than a decade some principal nations produced
cotton
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the world, Helping with the production of other products derived from
cotton
 and supporting the economy of its countries. Based on the statistics shown in the graph compares, nations that
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
produced bales of
cotton
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 China and the USA, Brazil with Pakistan produced less, there two
last
 keep quantity during 14 years,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
show examples
 India
exceed
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 its
produced
Replace the word
production
show examples
 in
this
 period.
In contrast
 to the USA with India,
there
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the USA had a significant reduction in its production with respect to other countries.
Nevertheless
, in 2017 there was an increase and remained about Brazil and Pakistan. But China will always have the highest production of bales of
cotton
Submitted by juliettorresb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure you provide a clear introduction, overview, and conclusion to your essay, as these are essential components. The essay lacks a formal structure which an IELTS examiner would expect.
support
Develop body paragraphs with clear main points, each supported by specific examples or data. This essay requires more detailed information and specific figures to support the statements made.
task response
Your essay must answer all parts of the task. This essay does not address all the requirements of the given task, such as comparing the production of cotton in leading nations across the specified timeframe systematically.
cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to ensure that your essay flows logically from one idea to another. This essay lacks clear logical progression and connectors that guide the reader through the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!