Some people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on different factors.Discuss both views and gove your opinion
Personal
happiness
is determined by various factors in life Use synonyms
due to
the different needs and purposes individuals achieve. Linking Words
While
some Linking Words
people
believe that personal satisfaction primarily comes from their economic success, I personally believe that there are other significant factors that make Use synonyms
people
feel happier for the following reasons.
On one hand, it is undeniable that economic factors have a direct effect on Use synonyms
people
increasing a sense of Use synonyms
happiness
. In fact, material needs are fully satisfied because wealthy Use synonyms
people
can afford to purchase whatever they want Use synonyms
such
as luxurious vehicles and mansions. Linking Words
In addition
, only children born into rich families can go to privileged schools to gain a higher quality education, which provides special programs to enhance various skills and talents. Linking Words
As a result
, Linking Words
this
makes them more excited about their promising future.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, personal Linking Words
happiness
can not merely be achieved by financial advantage. Use synonyms
For example
, Macaulay Culkin, one of the richest actors in the U.S., is known to have a corruptive life because of his addiction to drugs and alcohol and spent many years in prison for his repetitive crimes. Linking Words
Thus
, Linking Words
instead
of money, supportive friends and families are what Linking Words
people
desire the most and make them feel more secure and cared for. Use synonyms
In other words
, having someone who offers warm advice and encouragement provides enough strength to overcome various hurdles in life.
In conclusion, financial advantage greatly satisfies the material and educational demands of Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
However
, supportive persons play more essential roles in raising a sense of Linking Words
happiness
.Use synonyms
Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader through the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make your points more convincing.