IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

#people #house #apartment
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In
this
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 contemporary era, architecture has been enhanced. People have the ability to opt for the place that they can accommodate .
However
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, a wide range of individuals assume that residence in a
house
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 will suit them,
while
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 others prefer to live in an apartment. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate on the pros and cons of living in a
house
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. On the one hand, a
house
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 provides a substantial space to put the furniture that we want without considering the size of it.
Additionally
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, we will have our private area and the
house
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 comes with a garden. A
lot
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 of people can exploit
this
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 garden to do a mini-pool. They
also
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 can do a barbeque or parties and make a loud noise without disrupting the neighbours.
For instance
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, a new study from California University illustrated that a high proportion of US citizens prefer to buy a separate
house
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. They love to do parties like birthday parties or gender reveal.
On the other hand
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, the
house
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 has a major area. Individuals will struggle to clean it. If they bring
Correct your spelling
housekeepers
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house
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-keepers, they will charge a
lot
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 of money.
For instance
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, the average of cleaning an apartment in Egypt is less the half that of a villa.
Moreover
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, the maintenance of the
house
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 is higher than an apartment. The bills
also
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 will be less.
Furthermore
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, if anything is lost in the
house
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, it could take a
lot
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 of time to find it. Ultimately, we will be terrified of the stairs if we have kids because they can fall from it.
This
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 can cause a
lot
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 of injuries. In a nutshell, There will be a debate on
this
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 argument. It will depend on the person. If he is able to afford the cost of the
house
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 and its services.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas more thoroughly. For instance, provide more detailed reasons and elaborate more on why a house offers more privacy or space advantages compared to an apartment.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each idea naturally leads to the next.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and vary your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported with examples and explanations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • outdoor activities
  • gardening
  • customization options
  • renovate
  • structural changes
  • investments
  • appreciation/depreciation
  • maintenance costs
  • utility costs
  • security features
  • gated entries
  • surveillance systems
  • shared amenities
  • community centers
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • commutes
  • urban centers
  • public transport
What to do next:
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