In some countries, more and more adults choose to continue to live with their parents after they graduate and have found jobs. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Recently,there are more and more
adults
who have already graduated or even have found jobs living with their
parents
. Personally, I believe that
this
phenomenon's advantages surpass its disadvantages for two main reasons.
To begin
with, it is obvious that if people live with their
parents
for years, they are able to save a large amount of money.
Although
some people state that it is important to train freshmen to make ends meet for themselves, I argue that living with
parents
can help them not only to save rent but
also
to focus on working and earning more. Take, Taipei,
for example
. Those who were born and lived in Taipei usually live with their
parents
due to
the fact that the rent price in Taipei is extremely high and young
adults
would rather spend buying things than pay rent.
Consequently
,saving money is one of the reasons why
adults
prefer living with their
parents
. The second advantage of living with
parents
is on the ground that
this
can help the relationship between
parents
and their children .
While
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
say that
adults
should not rely on their
parents
and be independent, I state that
this
is the chance of staying with
parents
since people are likely to spend time with friends or on cell phones when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
young.
For instance
, nowadays , many teenagers indulge in a virtual world and do not chat with their
parents
a lot.
However
, having dinner is a good way to stay with each other . If they live with their in the future , they have more opportunities to do it . In conclusion, intimate relationships can be stronger if
adults
live with their
parents
.
To sum up
,as far as I am concerned, there are two main reasons why I think the advantages of living with
parents
are more than the disadvantages. One is because
this
behaviour can save money and the other reason is
as
Change preposition
that
show examples
the bond between
parents
and their kids can be tighter.
Submitted by abbyyang301 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use transition words to connect ideas more effectively.
task response
Make sure to fully address all aspects of the essay prompt. Develop each main point with more specific examples and provide a clear opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • intergenerational
  • economic stability
  • cohabitation
  • living arrangements
  • financial autonomy
  • student loans
  • emotional stability
  • transitional phase
  • career development
  • self-reliance
  • independence
  • tension
  • values
  • lifestyles
  • personal space
  • autonomy
  • financial burden
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