IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: •Say what you have learned in your present job, •Suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department, •Explain why you do not wish to leave the company.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. Adams, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing to you in regard to my interest in changing the department I am working in because I think it is essential for my professional progress. I have been a software developer in the sales department for two years.
As a result
Linking Words
, I have become familiar with every part of the project, and there is nothing
fresh
Correct word choice
new
show examples
 for me to develop in
this
Linking Words
 section.
However
Linking Words
, I believe by moving to a new part of the corporation I will be able to challenge myself with new problems which will yield
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
progress in my expertise.
Besides
Linking Words
, I can be beneficial to the new section by providing my experience from the sales department.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I would like to mention that I do not wish to leave
this
Linking Words
 association
due to
Linking Words
 a sense of commitment.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 company has been genuinely comforting, safe and joyful.
This
Linking Words
 is a feeling that I had not experienced in my previous jobs. I hope my request can be granted. I am looking forward to hearing back from you. Sincerely Yours, Mahsa Fathi. Senior Software Developer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding specific examples of projects or skills developed to enhance the 'learning' aspect of your current role.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences in paragraphs to enhance the flow and structure of ideas.
task achievement
The letter demonstrates a clear and professional tone suitable for workplace communication.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the letter is logical, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: