IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Government should focus thier spending in public service rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#government #focus #thier #service #arts #music
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The government bodies have a potential role to maintain the economic system of the nation.
However
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, many masses debate that authorities should more expenditures on community essentials
instead
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 of other activities like
arts
Use synonyms
, music , and painting. I disagree, with the statement because both facilities are initial for society and discuss in the essay.
To begin
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, with it is essential in favour to put more expenditures on the local population. Because predominant laws need to be balanced with it. As in developing ,nations it is a productive way to build infrastructure.
While
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, healthcare sector,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 education system
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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both are surging factors to uplift the economy.
Therefore
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, social security, Medicare and army equipment which is useful for the people . For, example,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 is the biggest economic country they tremendously spend on education wellness programs .In general, improvement in highway
maintance
Correct your spelling
maintenance
 help in exporting goods and services easily
in
Change preposition
at
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 cheaper.
Further
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, to enhance the housing opportunities provide
convinence
Correct your spelling
convince
 the residents to develop new
apartment
Fix the agreement mistake
apartments
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 and houses .
On the other hand
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, the merits of
arts
Use synonyms
 and crafts spurred
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism,
Although
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 several
forigen
Correct your spelling
foreign
 nations travel to enjoy the talent . It is irrefutable that, creativity is essential for teenagers so
Correct article usage
the sate
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sate
Correct your spelling
state
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 to spend money to
increased
Change the form of the verb
increase
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 the value of
arts
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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Because it is
also
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 a profession .
Inspite
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In spite
, music
Change preposition
of, music
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 is
only
Add an article
the only
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 way to overcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
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stress and give motivation, enjoyment and
relif
Correct your spelling
relief
 to
mind
Correct article usage
the mind
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 . For , instance, Indian classical, music is widely popular and
listen
Wrong verb form
listened
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by
Change preposition
to by
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 numerous
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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.
Last
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 but least, creative activities have a huge potential to improve
image
Add an article
the image
an image
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 in society so more and more youth
influenced
Add a missing verb
are influenced
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 to do hard work. In conclusion, public
favors
Change the spelling
favours
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 and others
arts
Use synonyms
crafts
Correct word choice
and crafts
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 both are significant for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Authority
implement
Change the verb form
implements
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 the policy to manage the expenditures in equal number.
Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on

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