IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Are domestic movies and TV shows more interesting or foreign movies and TV shows?

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First,
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I strongly believe that
Japanese
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films
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 are personally more entertaining because of my language barrier.
In other words
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, as my first and mother
tongue
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tongues
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 languages are both
Japanese
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, watching local
movies
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 does not require a lot of effort.
Although
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 foreign
movies
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 include subtitles generated by professional translators, understanding the exact messages and meanings
are
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is
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 challenging.
In addition
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, even if I were able to acknowledge what some characters’ lines signify, I am the type of individual who
favors
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favours
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 not wasting my brain energy
while
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 watching
movies
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 because seeing a movie is part of
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
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, not for studies.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 the development of film industries in
Japan
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, there are numerous
films
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 that are enjoyable to watch.
Advancement
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Advancements
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 in microphones, cameras and
innovation
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innovations
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 in CGs have made
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Japanese
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films
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 admired by various audiences including worldwide known foreign film production companies.
For instance
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, animations, known as “anime” are prominent all over the world because
according to
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 foreign audiences, animations look realistic and
three dimensional
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three-dimensional
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. What is more,
Japan
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 puts a lot of money
on
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into
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 audio productions
such
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 as themed songs and sound effects.
Thus
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, I insist that
Japanese
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films
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 are better for entertainment.
Last
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 but not least, I think
Japanese
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films
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 bring more joy because of cultural differences.
Films
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 produced in
Japan
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 are centralized on intimacy and depth.
On the contrary
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, ones originating in foreign countries seem overeating and shallow. I suppose that to some extent, whether the audience
have
Change the verb form
has
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 fun watching
movies
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 or not depends on watchers’ past life experiences and philosophies.
Furthermore
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, since I am not familiar with the culture in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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foreign
movies
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, there are some scenes and jokes
where
Correct word choice
that
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 I lose track of. In conclusion, I personally believe that national works are more gratifying compared to international ones.
This
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 is because of my language barrier, cultural difference, and advancement in technology in
Japan
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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