IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Fast food is a part of life in many place. Some people think this has bad effects in lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons

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In modern countries, ready-made meal plays a major role in people's lives.
However
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,
it is clear that
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 these
foods
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 have a negative impact on human haleness and cause serious harm. I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint that fast meat is not only harmful to health but
also
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 reduces human life expectancy and has a negative impact on our culture. In
this
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 essay, I will explain
this
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 idea clearly. Proper nutrition is a very important part of our lives. But it is obvious that everyone consumes unhealthy
foods
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.
Nonetheless
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 these days, the most concerning issue with fast food is its detrimental effect on health. Which, in a society, where individuals are constantly working and have personal commitments, it is far easier to order foodstuffs than to prepare nutritious meals at home. In fact, it is clear to everyone that these
foods
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 contain trans fats that are not broken down and insoluble in the body, which causes excessive weight gain and obesity. Obesity, in turn, is a major risk factor for severe health problems so as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. Despite its convenience, the long-term well-being consequences are undeniable. Because, fast
foods
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 are very low in essential nutrients that are important for well-being,
such
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 as fibre, vitamins, and minerals.
In addition
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 to hardihood concerns, fast cooking has a negative impact on the rise of culture.
Due to
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 its affordability and convenience, many people prefer to order different dishes from various restaurants
instead
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 of spending time cooking at home.
As a result
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, cultural dishes that once played a significant role in daily life are now cooked for special occasions.
This
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 change not only weakens established family ties but
also
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 leads to the gradual disappearance of cultural heritage.
To conclude
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,
although
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 fast foodstuff offers convenience and a sedentary lifestyle in today's world, its negative influence on fitness and the loss of cultural traditions cannot be ignored. In order to create a healthy lifestyle, maintain family ties and continue cultural values, people should cook at home, eat cooked food and adopt a more balanced approach to their eating habits.

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task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are clearly supported with specific examples to strengthen your position. For instance, when discussing health risks, you could mention statistical data or studies that highlight the effects of fast food.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs. For example, you could enhance transitions between points by using phrases such as 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore.'
language
Refine your language for clarity and accuracy. For instance, replace 'fast meat' with 'fast food' and 'hardihood' with 'health'. Correct spelling and grammar mistakes to enhance professionalism.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a clear stance on the issue of fast food's impact on health and culture. You show a good understanding of the negative effects that fast food can have on individuals and society as a whole.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a logical introduction, body paragraphs that tackle specific issues, and a concluding statement that summarizes your viewpoint. This organization aids reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • culinary culture
  • wholesome meals
  • inherently
  • health consequences
  • nutritional options
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