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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals believe that most environmental problems arise from the
extinction
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 of plants and animals. Others contend that there are more pressing environmental concerns. In my opinion. the
extinction
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 of
species
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 is undeniably one of the major environmental challenges.
Furthermore
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, there are additional issues that are the primary source of environmental concerns. A reduction in biodiversity is being caused by the steady vanish of animal and plant lifeforms in modern times. There are many problems that can cause
this
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 theory.
Firstly
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, mass hunting by humans,
such
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 as business hunts, has a significant negative impact on the
species
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.
For instance
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, killing tigers or elephants in order to sell their skins and horns.
Secondly
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, incapable of adjusting to the condition.
For example
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, the world's rapid climate change has led to the elimination of some penguin
species
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.
On the other hand
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, some people may assume that environmental affairs are more responsible for the
extinction
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 of
species
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. For illustration, the Greenhouse Effect, which is caused by pollution, might lead to long-term troubles that can cause
extinction
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.
Moreover
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, in the coming years, these factors may pose a threat to the human race that may become extinct.
Additionally
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, if we do not find a means to take care of the environment, we will not be able to limit pollution emissions and preserve forms of life.
Finally
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, humans will suffer because of their inability to survive on
this
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 planet. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 nutshell, it can be clearly seen that both viewpoints are obviously related because the consequences of climate impacts can result in the
extinction
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 of biodiversity and animals.

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need more development to clearly present the writer's stance and engage the reader. Use stronger transitions and topic sentences to improve the logical flow and coherence of the essay.
task achievement
The response addresses both views and provides examples but lacks depth and clarity. Ensure that the writer's opinion is clearly stated and supported with specific reasoning and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • habitat
  • extinction
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • global warming
  • sustainable
  • conservation
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