The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between 2000 and 2009.
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The table depicts the percentage of students joining
secondary
Add an article
the secondary

The noun phrase secondary school seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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school from 2000 to 2009, which are categorized into four groups. In brief, all of the attendance had
downward
Add an article
a downward
the downward

The noun phrase downward tendency seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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tendency,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

only the presence in community schools had
a
Change the article
an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word upward.

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upward trend. In detail, people who come to specialist academies were 12% in 2000,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

started to dip continuously until the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

period to 10%, which indicated the lowest number in 2009. Grammar schools
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

experienced a similar pattern to that of the specialist educational institutions, which plunged moderately from 24% to 19% in 2005
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and continued to decline in 2009.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, voluntary-controlled departments, which was the most famous school in 2000,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

experienced to drop gradually to 20% in the
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

year.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, community departments had the slightest number in the first year. Surprisingly, the number of people who came to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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educational institutions rose sharply from 12% to 32%, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend had long-term popularity, which showed more than half population entered the academy in 2009.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, last".
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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