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Band 6.5

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give opinions

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some
people
 claim that it is the best way to acknowledge any kind of bad situation in
people
's
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
,
for instance
, a job they are not satisfied
,
Change preposition
with, as
show examples
as well as
 a lack of money.
Whereas
 , others insist that it is better to try and improve
such
 situations. On the one hand, many
people
 are suffering from food
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and health problems all over the world. if it is considered from
this
 point of view,
people
 should know the worth of what they have. There are many
people
 who would give all they have, to have a job only to buy some food for their family.
For example
, there are many
people
 including children in Africa, even if they can not find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clean water to drink.
Moreover
, most
people
 die because of hunger in Africa. There is no food, no job and no money. On the other side of the coin,
people
 who have limited chances in their life, ought to try harder and improve bad circumstances in their life. There are many alternatives to improve yourself and your abilities.A qualified individual
is became
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 visible and can not reject by society. As an illustration, there are scholarships that are given by universities for allows
people
 a chance to improve themselves.
Furthermore
, there are many vocational courses that are provided by governments and free of charge for
people
 who have abilities. In conclusion, despite ideas which support accepting bad situations, I strongly believe that
people
 should always push for better and improve conditions for themselves.
Submitted by meltembal24 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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