More and more adults have continued to live with their parents for many years after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages of this choice outweigh disadvantages?

Some
people
are addicted to
leave
Verb problem
living
show examples
with their
parents
, even if they
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
graduated or have found jobs.
Although
there are positive aspects of living with the family, a few disadvantages can be mentioned. in
this
essay, I will discuss both sides. On the one hand, some population living with their
parents
cannot afford the tuition fees of their life,
lonely
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
so their
parents
can use their salary to pay for them.
for instance
,
people
cannot pay for their water bill, gas bill, or electric bill.
Besides
, some young folk or busy working every single day or they have to do their homework so they do not have enough time to do housework,
such
as washing the dishes, doing the laundry, cooking and so on. Their
parents
can help them do some of them and save more time to have a rest.
On the other hand
, leaving with family
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
has some negative impacts, one of which will be explained here.
To begin
with, some
people
have strict
parents
, and they are under pressure especially, in the young population. Leaving with them could lead to an increase in their stress. They are forced to spend a lot of time working or studying so they are not allowed to do some outdoor activities,
for example
, football, basketball and so on .
Furthermore
, if young
people
live with
this
type of
parents
, they may have a lack of mental health, and they may have nowhere to run away from their pressure, which leads to depression.
To sum up
, my view is that the advantages of living with family outweigh the drawbacks, and
parents
play an important role in our daily life and we should cherish the days with our
parents
.
Submitted by nasrrohina on

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task response
The essay demonstrates some understanding of the task but lacks clarity and consistency in addressing both sides of the argument. It is important to present a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a clearer framework for the discussion. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial benefit
  • supportive network
  • cultural expectations
  • family cohabitation
  • family bonds
  • lack of privacy
  • personal space
  • emotional dependency
  • mental dependency
  • life's pressures
  • inter-generational conflicts
  • lifestyle differences
  • familial relationships
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