IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money. either to sponsor a child sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter •Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team •Summarise the benefits of paying for the concert •Say how you think the company should spend the money.

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #child #sports #team #two #years #air #concerts #feedback #•describe #•summarise #concert #•say
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Dear Sir or Madam, Hope you are well. I am
writting
Correct your spelling
writing
this
 letter, to express my
thoughs
Correct your spelling
thoughts
 regarding your sponsorship of
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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team
Fix the agreement mistake
teams
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 or
open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
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 concerts within
Knowles
Correct article usage
the Knowles
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 Wharf area. From my point of view, sponsor of a child sports team
its
Correct your spelling
is
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marvellous
Correct article usage
a marvellous
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 idea. Unfortunately, there are
no
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not
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 many places, where children can develop their talents. It is irrefutable, that everyone should have a chance to do what they love.
In addition
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents are not able to
affort
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afford
 that
kind
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kinds
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 of
activities
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activity
show examples
 for their children. There are lots of pupils with
extraordinary
Add an article
an extraordinary
the extraordinary
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ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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 to do sports,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 poverty makes it, only a dream.
On the other hand
, sponsorship of
an open air concerts
Correct the article-noun agreement
open air concerts
an open air concert
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 would be as
well
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a well
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 astonishing idea. It could
intergrate
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integrate
 families, especially parents and children.
Overall
, I would say that there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 more benefits to
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
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child
Correct article usage
a child
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 team over
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
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 concerts. Creating the future for our kids,
its
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is
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 the key. I am sure, all young people would
approciate
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appreciate
 that idea and develop their skills.
Sinceraly
Correct your spelling
Sincerely
, M
Submitted by martynaa.j on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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