IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe that actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Humans, plants and animals are all intertwined and a change in one factor would
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a great impact on one another. The negative results caused by the activities of humans have influenced the ecosystem around the globe .
However
Linking Words
, others firmly believe that taking necessary actions will significantly change
this
Linking Words
 situation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the importance of preserving nature and the work we should do to save the biosphere.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the interactions inside the ecosystem are too complex to comprehend so it is hard to understand, the loss of which interaction would cause the most drastic change.
For instance
Linking Words
, if small aqua plants are removed from a water source, it is possible for the aquatic creatures to lose their supply of food which would eventually perish. But how accurately can we speculate the occurrence of
this
Linking Words
 incident?
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if we actively participate in saving natural resources, we will be able to reduce the impact it causes upon other creatures.
For example
Linking Words
, if the government imposes laws to reduce logging in the Amazon rainforest, there will be a significant reduction in
losing
Verb problem
the loss of
show examples
 unique trees and the bio cycles living in it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will allow more flora and fauna to flourish producing more habitats for animals to reside thereby increasing biodiversity in the area. So, it is possible to reduce the damage we cause to nature. In conclusion, it is crucial to preserve the environment to sustain life on Earth for a longer time and actively working towards establishing necessary changes to reduce detrimental outcomes should be encouraged.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
There is a clear response to the task, demonstrating an understanding of the topic. However, the essay would benefit from further development of ideas and more specific examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in connecting ideas more coherently and providing a more cohesive flow of information between paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: