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Band 6.5

Children spend a lot of time playing computer games rather than playing sport. Why has this happened? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays,
children
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 tend to spend most of their
time
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 playing digital
games
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,
instead
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 of being active
children
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 and playing sports.There are many reasons behind
this
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 and in
this
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 essay,I am going to discuss it. I think
this
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 development has a
lot
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 of negative effects. The primary
reason
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 is, the development of technology,most young
children
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 are attracted to
computer
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games
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 because those
games
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 fascinate them and they look more realistic. There are many
games
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 that
children
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 do not play in real life which is the
reason
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 they might be playing more
computer
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games
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.
For example
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,they can not play gun
games
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 and any action
games
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 in real life. Another
reason
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 is
games
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 being played on a
computer
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 are more convenient as compared to playing sports.
Moreover
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, a young child does not require to be fit and healthy and it is played by every child no matter what.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 can not refuse the pleasure they get from playing digital
games
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 eventually it will become a habit and
that is
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 the main
reason
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children
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 ended up spending more
time
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 on computers.
However
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,playing
computer
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games
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 is not always good for
children
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.Not only it is bad for
children
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's bodies,but
also
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 it is bad for their minds.Playing digital
games
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 will affect the
overall
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 health of the
children
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, they spend a
lot
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 of
time
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 just sitting in one position and
as a result
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, they will have fatter and obesity will be the main issue.
In addition
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,playing action
games
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 will have a deep impact on a child's mind. Their behaviour will be different after playing an action game.They will act more aggressively and become an angry person.
Furthermore
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, their eye will harm a
lot
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 at a very young age and they will have to wear glasses. In conclusion,Spending a
lot
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 of
time
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 playing video
games
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 or pc
games
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 will harm
children
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's health at a very young age

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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