IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some feels that individuals should try assimilate compeletly to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both sides and give you opinion.

#individuals #country #culture
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are two opposite views on whether a person should blend into a local place-depended way of living or follow the traditions of the country of origin. First of all, there are different societies with various levels of open-mindedness. If a country leans towards being rather conservative,
then
Linking Words
 it would be crucial to try to assimilate into the local lifestyle in order to succeed.
For example
Linking Words
, in Islamic countries, a proper outfit will be crucial for females to strive
.
Change preposition
for.
show examples
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in a very liberal community, people might not pay attention to clothing choice much and it could even be encouraged to bring your own flavour.
Additionally
Linking Words
 bringing your own culture to a new place might enrich the quality of people living around.
For instance
Linking Words
, some nations organize events to celebrate their traditional holidays where they gather, play their national music and dance. Locals might attend these events too and benefit by learning about other's history, traditions and cuisine.
Finally
Linking Words
, the choice depends on the person too. Some people find it very comforting to follow their traditional habits and values. These might be seen as calming
due to
Linking Words
 the familiarity. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it is true that in some communities following the local culture is significant to achieve success, in others that might not pose high importance and the person can have a freedom of choice whether to blend in or stick to the traditional lifestyle.
Submitted by ankudinovayekater on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: