In some countries many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies

There are young adults who have decided to have an annual experience related to work or travel after graduating from high

school

and before entering university. In my opinion, the benefit of

this

action, which is their views of their lives is greater than the drawback, which is degenerating their motivations against their studies. On the one hand,

this

behaviour might demotivate adolescents to learn at

college

. Through

such

an experience, they would meet a lot of people, including those who have selected

the

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show examples

career without studying at university, but already have magnificent life experiences which stimulate youngsters' minds. After these meetings, young adults are confused about their purposes of going to

school

, and some of them make a decision to quit enrolling a

school

even though a

college

education provides a variety of opportunities not only to learn their majors

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

to build relationships with other

students

On the other hand

, working and travelling experiences would be helpful for youth people to widen their views of

this

world, and find what they are indeed interested in, and

this

guide

also

contributes to an increase in their concentration on

college

studies. Generally, almost all

students

can not recognize what they want to do in their lives, and some

students

feel that "everything is vain." because they have only experience related to studying, it means their views are significantly narrow.

However

, if they break out of their studying environments and expose outside of the world, their awarenesses of what they desire are aroused, and

as a result

, these stimulations promote

students

' motivations to study. In Japan,

on the contrary

, it is general to go to university without

such

a period, numerous

college

students

are concerned about their next career after graduating from

school

with

Correct your spelling

show examples

lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

self-awareness. In conclusion,

although

this

action might have a negative aspect in terms of deteriorating young adults' motivation to take an education in

college

, the positive one is more significant

due to

assisting youth people's self-awareness.

Submitted by t.watpot216 on Thu Feb 02 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural immersion
Life experience
Work ethic
Career readiness
Self-discovery
Delayed gratification
Intellectual stagnation
Financial implications
Social dynamics
Academic trajectory

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In some countries many young people choose to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that mobile phone is destroying social interaction. Do you agree or disagree?

With growing populations in cities, more and more people live in homes with little or no outdoor space. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.