IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Countries should try to produce all the food for the population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many countries around the world are focusing on increasing domestic
food
Use synonyms
production
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 in order to reduce their reliance on imports. From my perspective, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 approach, as it offers greater economic stability and strengthens national independence.
Furthermore
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, producing
food
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 locally can significantly boost a country's economic growth. On the one hand, national
food
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production
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 plays a crucial role in supporting a country's economy. When a nation produces its own
food
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, it can reduce costs for consumers and create more employment opportunities.
For instance
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, in Japan, domestic
food
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production
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 results in affordable prices and reasonable taxes, making essential goods more accessible to the general public.
Additionally
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, encouraging internal agriculture enables governments to invest more in farming technologies and infrastructure,
further
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 improving national
food
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 security and self-sufficiency.
In addition
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 to
this
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, national
production
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 provides support to the domestic economy and leads to a reduction in taxes.
On the other hand
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, importing
food
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 products
also
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 has notable advantages. One significant benefit is that it allows people to experience a greater variety of foods that may not be available locally.
For example
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, in Turkey, tropical fruits are not naturally grown, but imports give individuals the opportunity to enjoy these nutritious foods without travelling abroad.
This
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 not only enriches people’s diets but
also
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 supports cultural exchange through culinary diversity. In conclusion, I believe that countries should prioritize producing their own
food
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 to achieve economic and social benefits.
Nevertheless
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, the advantages of importing certain products for variety and nutritional purposes should not be overlooked. A balanced approach would bring the greatest benefits for both the population and the economy.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position and addresses the task well. However, you could strengthen your response by providing a more comprehensive exploration of the disadvantages of relying solely on domestic food production.
coherence and cohesion
While your structure is generally logical, the transition between ideas can be smoother. Consider using more linking words to enhance the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Some of your examples, such as the one from Japan, could be elaborated further to provide deeper insight into the economic impact of domestic food production. Try to add additional details that illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your argument.
task achievement
You’ve provided relevant examples to support your claims, such as Japan for domestic production and Turkey for food imports, which enhances the persuasiveness of your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-sufficiency
  • trade dependency
  • food security
  • sustainable agriculture
  • local economies
  • carbon footprint
  • supply chain
  • food miles
  • agricultural sector
  • domestic production
  • import substitution
  • food sovereignty
  • global supply chains
  • trade imbalances
  • food standards
  • economic resilience
  • biodiversity
  • cultural heritage
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