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Band 5

some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefits students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #society
In recent times, more and more
students
 are willing to continue their future academic life at universities and get higher degrees. Nowadays, some might argue that the
students
 themselves are the ones who should
hold
Wrong verb form
be held
show examples
 responsible for their tuition fees because they will take the degree to their own advantage ,not the society. I disagree with
this
 notion and firmly believe that
university
students
 should not shoulder the responsibility at all. The following essay will
be covering
Wrong verb form
cover
show examples
 the writer’s view in more detail. First of all, there are still a large number of
students
 who cannot afford the costs of their
education
. These candidates probably do not have a privileged background and, in return, they try to sacrifice their time and energy to meet the
university
 entry requirements.
Therefore
, forcing them to foot the
university
 bills, will end up leaving their lifelong ambition as an academic, which, thereby, leads to a higher illiteracy rate in society.
Moreover
, their attention should not be wandered to the monetary requirements of their studies but just to the quality of their
education
.
That is
 to say, one should be considered receiving straight-A marks and maintain the quality of his
education
 rather than thinking about fiscal terms of the
education
. Take a freshman
for example
, he can move up the ladder by just casting his attention to the
university
 subjects and texts.
However
, by becoming worried sick about the money,
this
 man will continue to cut corners in his studies;
as a consequence
, he will not probably be able to acquire the desired knowledge to reach higher educational levels.
To sum up
, with regard to
university
 costs,
students
 are not the ones who should shoulder the responsibility.
That is
due to
 the fact that there are still some underprivileged
students
 who can barely make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ends meet and,
therefore
, should better just work on their academic success.
Submitted by miladahmadi9619 on

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task response
Provide a more balanced argument by acknowledging counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and a conclusion. Make sure to include these to frame your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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