IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Children need to learn the age difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents or teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviors to children?

#children #age #difference #right #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviors
The diagram illustrates information about the number of people who visited 3 places ( the coast, mountains and lakes) in a period of 2 decades.
Overall
, the graph shows an increasing trend. All three areas had few visitors at first and all ended with high numbers.
To begin
 with, it is clear from the graph that the coast had many people coming to it. It began with just 40 000 visitors, in the next 5 years the figures dropped to less than 40 000. From there, the figures rose sharply to approximately 75 000. Coming to the lakes, a few people visited the place at the start of 1987 but the figure increased simultaneously to above 70 000 in 2002.
However
, the numbers gradually dropped and ended at 50 000 in 2007. As for mountain visitors, they started at 20 000 and steadily rose in the next 2 decades and ended at 35 000 in 2007.
Submitted by 1155131483 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: