Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely discussed if the nation should spend expenditure on the competitors for any Olympic Games or spend on those youngsters in order to motivate them to play
sports
Use synonyms
. I partly agree with the viewpoint of giving an opportunity to the younger ones to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
preparing the athletes is equally significant. Making room for young children to participate in
sports
Use synonyms
inculcate
Correct subject-verb agreement
inculcates
show examples
confidence and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a strong starting point to display their potential, it is good to open up their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
while
Linking Words
they are young to play
sports
Use synonyms
because it will mould their personality
while
Linking Words
growing up, for ,instance a timid boy who just stays in the house playing computer games will go out and play outdoor like football or basketball, he will overcome his shyness by socializing to other children.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it gives them a good training ground that can be essential for winning.
Whereas
Linking Words
, providing
such
Linking Words
amount for the players to compete in world competitions to represent a specific nation and to showcase their own talent and culture to others;
for instance
Linking Words
, Manny Pacquiao a world-famous professional boxer gave honour to his country by winning 62 titles in boxing competitions, through him and other athletes, people around the world able to know more about their country and it's culture. In conclusion, allocating
such
Linking Words
an amount to perform in world competitions is equally significant as giving a portion to young children to cooperate in
sports
Use synonyms
, in order for them to have a good foundation and training to compete in the Olympic Games in the future.
Submitted by leoriemadeo1287 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the issue. However, some points could be further developed to provide a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points. Work on organizing the body paragraphs to enhance the overall coherence and flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • grassroots level
  • uncover hidden talents
  • sustainable sporting culture
  • healthcare costs
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • elite sports
  • fosters
  • unhealthy competition
  • engagement
  • initiatives
  • cost-effective
  • broader impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: