IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
#show #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
Given bar graph illustrates the information regarding the expenditure of two countries
such
 as
France
 and
Uk
 on consumer products in 2010.
Overall
,it is
cleared
Replace the word
clear
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars were the most popular
consuming
Replace the word
consumer
show examples
 goods in the
France
 and
Uk
.
Firstly
,we can see that
France
 consumed 400,000 cars in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010.
Secondly
,In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010 computers were
similar
Change the adjective
similarly
show examples
 consumed
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
 as
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to
Add an article
the car
show examples
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.
Thirdly
,Books were lesser obsess by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
 about 300,000.
Therefore
,perfume and cameras grip
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased as compared to other
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 in 2010 ground sterling pounds.
On the other hand
,cars
were obsess
Change the verb form
were obsessed
show examples
 by the
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 about 4,50,000.
However
,computers and books
were goes
Change the verb form
went
show examples
 up and down in the mid of 3,70,000.
While
 perfume overwhelms
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
uk
Correct your spelling
UK
 around 1,50,000.
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
show examples
 cameras
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consumed
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 range of pound sterling
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 around 3,50,000.
Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: