The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#show #expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Given bar graph illustrates the information regarding the expenditure of two countries

such

Linking Words

France

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

on consumer products in 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

,it is

cleared

Replace the word

clear

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cars were the most popular

consuming

Replace the word

consumer

show examples

goods in the

France

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

,we can see that

France

Use synonyms

consumed 400,000 cars in the year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2010.

Secondly

Linking Words

,In the year

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2010 computers were

similar

Change the adjective

similarly

show examples

consumed

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

Use synonyms

compare

Change the form of the verb

compared

show examples

Add an article

the car

show examples

car

Fix the agreement mistake

cars

show examples

Thirdly

Linking Words

,Books were lesser obsess by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

France

Use synonyms

about 300,000.

Therefore

Linking Words

,perfume and cameras grip

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased as compared to other

good

Fix the agreement mistake

goods

show examples

in 2010 ground sterling pounds.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,cars

were obsess

Change the verb form

were obsessed

show examples

by the

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

about 4,50,000.

However

Linking Words

,computers and books

were goes

Change the verb form

went

show examples

up and down in the mid of 3,70,000.

While

Linking Words

perfume overwhelms

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

around 1,50,000.

Linking Words

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

cameras

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

consumed

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

range of pound sterling

product

Fix the agreement mistake

products

show examples

around 3,50,000.

Submitted by sharma1997.rahulthakur on Fri Feb 03 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

130 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this option?
Internationally the women position have significantly changed in the last two decades, although this has boosted the world ecomony quite a bit, but this change have caused direct impact on children personal growth resulting in juvenile deliquency and other such problems. I partly agree with this statement as the women position in a family has changed, I believe men should understand the change the family dynamic and support family in other ways than financially. This essay will describe this change with reasoned examples.
6.5
band
The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicatio outweigh the disadvantage?
The development of social networks has had a profound impact on the relationships between the community and the public. This writer argues that the lack of communication and cybercriticism overshadow the connection within the distance.
8
band
In addition to your full-time job, you are taking a 15-hour Computer Science course. You now find that you cannot continue with the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter: -Describe your schedule and situation -Explain why you cannot continue the course -Say what action you would like to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.
My name is Trang Dao. I am a student in your Computer Science course. I am writing to apologize for not continuing to attend your class because of some issues.
6.5
band
You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: •say how you feel about his/her performance •give details of your music-related activities •explain how you would like him/her to help you with your music-related activities
I am writing this letter in regard to invite you to my workplace to arrange a live musical concert and I also want to show my gratitude towards your singing on your last day of the concert in Toronto.
7.5
band
In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?
It is widely known that new technology is being invested in to cope with the public in many countries' authorities. The demands of high-quality labour and a better life are the result of this, and this writer believes that money from governments is used properly.

The chart below show the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communicatio outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?