IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of inquiries sent to the Tourist Information Office in a particular city through three means of communication between January and June of the year 2011.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 visitors to the city made more
inquires
Replace the word
inquiries
show examples
 in
person
Use synonyms
 and via
telephone
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 letters or emails became
less
Add an article
a less
the less
show examples
 common choice.
Also
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of enquiries in
person
Use synonyms
 experienced the most dramatic change among the given methods. In the first month of 2011, the Tourist Information Office received 900
enquires
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
telephone
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 just under 800 ones were sent by letter or email. Not many tourists chose
asking
Change the verb form
to ask
show examples
 for information in
person
Use synonyms
, with just above 400 queries. Over the next three months,
Use synonyms
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
show examples
 still remained the most popular method with 1000
enquires
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
enquires
Correct your spelling
enquiries
show examples
 made in
person
Use synonyms
 saw a considerable growth to 800
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
emails, surpassing the figure for email and postal
enquires
Use synonyms
. From March to June, the office received significantly more
enquires
Use synonyms
 in
person
Use synonyms
. Just after four months, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
enquires
Use synonyms
 by
this
Linking Words
 way soared by more than 1,000 to peak at 1,900 in June. The period
also
Linking Words
 recorded a significant rise to 1,600 in the figure for
Use synonyms
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, fewer people sent emails or
letter
Fix the agreement mistake
letters
show examples
 to make
enquires
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 ended at the lowest point of only under 400.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, person, telephone, enquires with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of inquiries
  • Tourist Information Office
  • six-month period
  • increased steadily
  • reached a peak
  • decreased slightly
  • increased dramatically
  • experienced a gradual decline
  • general trend
  • highest number
  • lowest number
  • significant increase
  • tourism interest
What to do next:
Look at other essays: