Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

Certain
people
recommend that building more
gyms
will be able to inspire
people
to keep energetic.
However
, there are some drawbacks related to the suggestion that we cannot ignore.
This
essay will provide the downsides of
this
proposal and suggest effective solutions to encouraging
people
to keep healthy.
This
argument is understandable since building more
gyms
will enable
people
to access and go to the
gym
easier. To illustrate, nowadays there are only a few
gyms
located in rural areas, resulting in which some
people
might find it difficult to go to the
gym
regularly.
Moreover
, a
gym
environment is undeniably able to inspire and motivate
people
to stay healthy and be in a good shape.
On the contrary
, I believe that not only does building more
gyms
have some limitations, but it
also
does not directly inspire
people
. The first potential problem is that we cannot deny that the cost of a
gym
membership is competitive, from which,
although
there are numerous
gyms
in every area, certain
people
still cannot afford it.
Moreover
, building up more
gyms
will allow
people
to have a stigmatized attitude towards keeping healthy. To exemplify,
people
will unquestioningly connect
gyms
and staying healthy, leading them to think that
gyms
are the only place to exercise and stay healthy which is preposterous.  The real solutions to inspiring
people
to remain energetic and healthy are to provide information through government support. Providing information in terms of health will allow
people
to be aware of the advantages and countless strategies in daily routine that can be done to be and remain healthy.
For instance
, the government should allocate some money for communities or organizations associated with healthy to create some initiatives
such
as campaigns or advertisements, in order to encourage
people
to be aware of the benefits of keeping healthy and the strategies that they can utilise in their daily routine
such
as having enough sleep or walking 10,000 steps per day.
However
, always keeping healthy requires a joint effort between the government and its population. The knowledge or initiatives won't be effective
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
unless
people
have good discipline and recognise how important it is. In conclusion, building more
gyms
to encourage
people
to stay healthy and active is comprehensible but there are still potential drawbacks to
this
proposal. I,
therefore
, suggest the solutions to inspiring
people
to stay active and healthy which are providing information and creating initiative.
Submitted by plengmarchx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: