Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain
people
Use synonyms
recommend that building more
gyms
Use synonyms
will be able to inspire
people
Use synonyms
to keep energetic.
However
Linking Words
, there are some drawbacks related to the suggestion that we cannot ignore.
This
Linking Words
essay will provide the downsides of
this
Linking Words
proposal and suggest effective solutions to encouraging
people
Use synonyms
to keep healthy.
This
Linking Words
argument is understandable since building more
gyms
Use synonyms
will enable
people
Use synonyms
to access and go to the
gym
Use synonyms
easier. To illustrate, nowadays there are only a few
gyms
Use synonyms
located in rural areas, resulting in which some
people
Use synonyms
might find it difficult to go to the
gym
Use synonyms
regularly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
gym
Use synonyms
environment is undeniably able to inspire and motivate
people
Use synonyms
to stay healthy and be in a good shape.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, I believe that not only does building more
gyms
Use synonyms
have some limitations, but it
also
Linking Words
does not directly inspire
people
Use synonyms
. The first potential problem is that we cannot deny that the cost of a
gym
Use synonyms
membership is competitive, from which,
although
Linking Words
there are numerous
gyms
Use synonyms
in every area, certain
people
Use synonyms
still cannot afford it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, building up more
gyms
Use synonyms
will allow
people
Use synonyms
to have a stigmatized attitude towards keeping healthy. To exemplify,
people
Use synonyms
will unquestioningly connect
gyms
Use synonyms
and staying healthy, leading them to think that
gyms
Use synonyms
are the only place to exercise and stay healthy which is preposterous.  The real solutions to inspiring
people
Use synonyms
to remain energetic and healthy are to provide information through government support. Providing information in terms of health will allow
people
Use synonyms
to be aware of the advantages and countless strategies in daily routine that can be done to be and remain healthy.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government should allocate some money for communities or organizations associated with healthy to create some initiatives
such
Linking Words
as campaigns or advertisements, in order to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to be aware of the benefits of keeping healthy and the strategies that they can utilise in their daily routine
such
Linking Words
as having enough sleep or walking 10,000 steps per day.
However
Linking Words
, always keeping healthy requires a joint effort between the government and its population. The knowledge or initiatives won't be effective
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
unless
people
Use synonyms
have good discipline and recognise how important it is. In conclusion, building more
gyms
Use synonyms
to encourage
people
Use synonyms
to stay healthy and active is comprehensible but there are still potential drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
proposal. I,
therefore
Linking Words
, suggest the solutions to inspiring
people
Use synonyms
to stay active and healthy which are providing information and creating initiative.
Submitted by plengmarchx on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: