IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that The best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #sports #facilities #effect #measures
Health
 is the major concern of each Society.
Therefore
, Government authorities have Marked it as an important issue of the country for many years. Some
people
 believe that increasing the number of sports facilities is the best way to achieve a healthy Society.
whereas
, others Believe there are other items
such
 as doing
yoga
 to achieve
this
 goal. I personally opine
both
 requirements are important to become more healthy. In
this
 essay, I will explain the aforementioned ideas and
then
 give my own opinion. There are a lot of
people
 who opine that increasing sports facilities
such
 as gyms or sports equipment in part is the best way to increase the
health
 of
people
.
Firstly
, Physical
health
 has a priority in their mind.
Secondly
, historical experience has shown that the healthier body is, the happier
people
 are.
For example
, Athletes are healthier and Stronger than normal
people
.
On the other hand
, there is a second group who opine that mental
health
 Is as important as physical
health
.
Hence
,
People
 should pay attention to
both
 of them and they should do them
along with
 each other. Mental care
such
 as doing
yoga
 or introspection has a vital role in well-being. Some experts believe To achieve mental
health
people
 should do some tensile practice during a month. I agree with
both
 opinions. body and mental
health
 are complementary to each other. in order to become safe and sound,
People
 should allocate enough time to
both
 of them. Without paying attention to one of them the other one is imperfect.
For instance
, it is better to do some
yoga
 exercises at least three times a week And do some physical activities on the other days. In a nutshell, spiritual
health
such
 as
Yoga
 and introspection
along with
 Material
health
such
 as physical activities put Human beings in good condition.
Therefore
,
People
 should pay attention to
both
 of them and allocate time to them.
Submitted by mrymabbsi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: