IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #ahould #work #country #thay
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Some humans feel that
professionals
 like doctors and engineers should serve in their home nation where they received their training,
while
 some think that it should be free to
work
 in foreign countries.
This
 essay will discuss both views in upcoming paragraphs and I support the latter view. On the one hand, some humankind
deem
Change the verb form
deems
show examples
 that medical
professionals
 and engineers should stay in their homeland and serve their own citizens.
For example
, students took education at universities and practised at their town's hospitals, before they became doctors.
Moreover
, during
this
 time government gives them support by giving them educational loans and scholarships as the fees of the medical profession are very high. They have a responsibility to
work
 in local hospitals and clinics in the area where they studied.
According to
 a survey by the Canadian government well-skilled nurses and medical practitioners depart in other nations.
Thus
, their own public has a scarcity of medical
professionals
. If doctors live in the same area where they learned,
this
 issue will be solved.
On the other hand
, some people think that all people have the right to choose their workplace
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. Give immunity to my view,
professionals
 like engineers and medical students choose to
work
 in a different place because they can get a higher salary from foreign countries
as well as
 they can
also
 increase their skills by working in a different locality.
Furthermore
, sometimes
this
 decision of educated people becomes fruitful for their own province whether they will change their mind to return back their home
then
 it will help in the nation's growth.
For instance
,
according to
 one American article 40% of foreign students who came to their motherland for job purposes go back to their own territory.
To conclude
, though there are some drawbacks of
professionals
 moving to other countries every professional has the right to choose where they want to
work
.
Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structures and avoiding repetitive phrases. This will enhance the readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly addresses the task question. This will improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and evidence to substantiate your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
task achievement
You have included both perspectives on the issue, fulfilling the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples and some good points supporting both sides of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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