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Writing Samples
Band 6

People who cause their own illness through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #illness #lifestyles #diets #health #care
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Individuals who fall sick
due to
 unbalanced food intake and inactive daily routines should have obligation to contribute a hefty amount of money to the healthcare system. I completely agree with
this
 point of view.
To begin
 with, with a compulsion to pay more charges, people will mend their ways and start eating healthy and living an active life, which will lead to a healthy country, businesses and more productivity. When the population starts consuming healthily and living actively to avoid giving more money to authorities, there will be a decline in sick days and the economy will bloom. There will be more competition between individuals and businesses regarding making more benefits.
For instance
, when students are motivated with material possessions by their teachers to have more attendance, they attend school daily and perform better, the same could be applied to a social system.
Furthermore
,
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 money could be used to treat sick people and less budget could be allocated for
healthcare
Add an article
the healthcare
show examples
 system. As the saying goes that prevention is better than treatment. With prevention,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 and government both will do better. There are many countries in
this
 world where
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 approach to life is inspired both in schools and workplaces for students and adults, and those countries rank high in development.
To conclude
, personal choices are inspired by national decisions and people will not want to pay more than somebody else because they can do something better with it. So, it is beneficial to a region if folks who pick on self-made diseases pay more fees.
Submitted by japneetmaan22 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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