IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
In today's business world, the struggle between having a satisfying or a secure
job
 is more intense. It is argued that permanent employment should be paramount for every citizen
due to
 extremely volatile feelings of happiness related to jobs, even though others believe in satisfaction over anything else. I strongly agree with the second statement, as a satisfying occupation determines the
overall
 joy of a person. Those who state that people cannot pretend to be constantly fulfilled by their workplace can have a point. The benefits of a secure
job
 are multiple,
such
 as having a fixed income every month, perks offered by the firm or paid holidays. Being able to sustain the family is the primary reason for working, yet permanent employment can offer
this
 stability.
However
, the downside of looking solely into secure companies might provoke general dissatisfaction and not being valued enough.
Moreover
, which
job
 can be considered stable? The covid pandemic showed that nothing can be taken for granted. Obviously, a balanced work condition is the optimal one.
However
, people who take some risks, stepping out of their comfort zone to obtain a career, as an entrepreneur or an employee, that gratifies what they are putting an effort into, allow them to be content in every aspect of their life. Having said that, some down moments will occur, but even
then
 they will not look back at the choice made regretting it. Being pleased and content about the workload outweighs the opportunity of having a permanent
job
 that does not
glorifies
Change the verb form
glorify
show examples
 the worker.
To conclude
, any workplace can be at some risk, but happiness is a state of mind that needs to be researched.
That is
 why, in my opinion,
job
 satisfaction is
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 more important than a simple and safe position.
Submitted by gre.bernabei21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: