Many peolpe say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others clain that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the worl of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

While
Some people believe that the only way to get a good job is to complete a course at an academy,
however
, others claim that it is worth starting a work-life after school and gaining a background in the world of work. I tend to believe that completing educational institution courses is the best way to guarantee a satisfactory occupation. People learn myriad information about both practical and theoretical aspects of the subject that they study during the period of university life. First and foremost, universities can teach you how to solve the problems related to your subject wisely and
also
supply you with necessary basic instructions which are very essential.
For instance
, individuals who have experienced numerous challenging problems regarding their major, tend to perform much better than the ones who have not faced subject-related problems in universities.
Moreover
, as individuals grow old and reach a sufficient maturity level during the university period, they get enough life experience and
also
create a vivid outlook and creativity, both of which are contributing factors to being successful workers in the workplace. To cite an example, sometimes, workers encounter particular obstacles in their workplaces and they have no chance but to use their creativity and age practice in order to find sustainable and efficient solutions to that problem.
To sum up
,
although
some believe that it is crucial to work after school, I personally think that it is very important to have enough activity involvement and some basic practical skills, with the help of which everybody can be sure that they will get their dream job.
Submitted by bhoswriting on

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Specific Examples
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Balanced Argument
While you've taken a clear position, including a more balanced view by acknowledging some benefits of gaining work experience after school could add depth to your argument.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction, developed body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Use of Language
You have effectively used a range of sentence structures and vocabulary, which enhances the readability of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensability
  • specialist knowledge
  • credentials
  • practical skills
  • networking opportunities
  • burden of student loans
  • immediate earning potential
  • digital economy
  • self-taught skills
  • lifelong learning
  • continuing professional development
  • academic qualifications
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