At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays there has been a concern
on
the proportion of Change preposition
about
young
population in a country. The number of elderly is lower compared with the number Add an article
the young
pf
youth in some countries. I concur that the benefits Correct your spelling
of
a countries
can get from Correct the article-noun agreement
a country
countries
this
situation are more than its drawback.
In Linking Words
this
modern era, Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
technology
is growing so fast. A person who can operate high-Use synonyms
technology
devices is needed. Young Use synonyms
people
are known for their fast Use synonyms
learner
and high adaptability towards Replace the word
learning
technology
Use synonyms
,
because they were born when Remove the comma
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
Use synonyms
already
developed. Add a missing verb
was already
In contrast
, Linking Words
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
have difficulty Use synonyms
in
using Change preposition
apply
smart-devices
, so they tend to be slower when it comes to adaptation and learning Correct your spelling
smart devices
of
new Change preposition
apply
technology
.
Use synonyms
Although
Linking Words
people
that age younger sometimes have Use synonyms
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
experiences
, since they have lived their life shorter than Fix the agreement mistake
experience
the
older Correct article usage
apply
people
, and they cannot give experienced-based Use synonyms
advices
to their Correct your spelling
advice
college
, Replace the word
colleagues
moreover
they can only give book-based Linking Words
suggestion
. The urgency of having a citizen at productive age is higher since they are most likely to be healthier, stronger, and more ambitious. A country often facing with Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
competition
that forced them to have the best quality of citizen to compete and young Add an article
the competition
a competition
people
is the best choice.
In summary, having Use synonyms
bigger
portion of youth than older Add an article
a bigger
people
in a country bring positive impact Use synonyms
such
as more Linking Words
people
that Use synonyms
easier
to learn and adapt Add a missing verb
are easier
with
Change preposition
to
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
technology
. Even though, younger Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
have
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
experience and only can give knowledge-based Change preposition
apply
advices
. Yet their Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
strong
, health, and ambition are needed. So, the Replace the word
strength
positive
of Fix the agreement mistake
positives
larger
portion of young Add an article
the larger
a larger
people
can outweigh the disadvantages.Use synonyms
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.