IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve the sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #aim #sales #products
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common thought that ads are used to lead
people
 to buy what we
don’t
 really need. In
this
 essay, I will express my idea about it showing that the level of my agreement with
this
 statement is under 50%.
To begin
 with, in fact, I believe that it is only a little part of the aim of advertising to improve the sales of a good that
people
don’t
 need to buy,
furthermore
, if
this
 would be the only reason for the existence of an ad, job of an advertiser would finish very soon, because
people
 are conscious of what they need, especially with an increase in prices when it comes to buying something, they tend to think a lot before purchasing.
Therefore
, I
don’t
 fully agree with
this
 statement because advertising should be considered in all its functions, in fact, it is not possible to say that
this
 is useful just to push
people
 to buy things. Those who study economics know well,
for example
, that the primary function of
that is
 letting
people
 know about new goods or events which are coming out in sales.
Furthermore
, commerce and sales would not exist without the aid of a strategic advert, which with strategic words and images
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
people
 to look at it, learn about new products and stimulate their desire to know more about it and perhaps push them to buy it.
To conclude
, pushing
people
 to buy something that they
don’t
 really need is likely only a consequence of a good advert, but not the first reason for it.
Submitted by frinfri93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more examples and specific details to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear structure with distinct introduction and conclusion sections.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: