IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the informtion by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #families #country #income #summarise #informtion #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the changes
between
Change preposition
in
show examples
 average weekly spending in eight categories by
families
Use synonyms
 in 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 in 2018 spent their weekly income
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 differently in comparison to 1968
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when they had to spend a huge
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
income
Correct pronoun usage
their income
show examples
 on food. That’s why in 2018
families
Use synonyms
 had more opportunities to spend more on leisure than on anything else. There were three categories in which
families
Use synonyms
 in 2018 spend more than in 1968. Leisure is the biggest expense with more than two times
figures
Correct article usage
the figures
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compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to 1968 (25 and 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
respectfully
Replace the word
respectively
show examples
).
Transport
Correct article usage
The transport
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 and housing category were
also
Linking Words
 nearly twice as big. (14 and 19
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
 in 1968 spent noticeably more on several categories. Food was the biggest expense and took more than a third of the whole budget.
Also
Linking Words
, they spent twice as more on clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 (8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
) and personal goods (10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
).
Submitted by p.zhukova89 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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