childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

#childhood #besity #world #people #adverts #food #snakes #schools #colleges #dis

Nowadays, obesity is becoming a huge threat to kids in first-world countries and

due to

this

some people agreed that fast

food

or unhealthy snacks advertisement should be prohibited in

schools

and colleges. I strongly agree that sugary products and fast

food

shouldn't be promoted in

schools

This

essay will discuss it with relevant examples. Advertisement is all around us, we can’t run away from

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. One of the most important aims of advertising is to persuade consumers to buy a certain product. When you think of

children

schools

, they more likely wouldn't know what is best for their health and promoting sugary products can be dangerous for kids in the long run and cause not just obesity but other illness as well.

Moreover

children

are already exposed to fast

food

Fix the agreement mistake

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, buildings often reflected the culture of a society but today all modern building look alike and cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. Why is this a case? Is it a good or bad thing

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly believed that some people are with certain talents for instance for sport and music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person or musician. Discuss both views and give tour opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.