childhood besity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweet sugary snakes should not be allowed in schools and colleges. what extent do you agree or dis agree with this?

Nowadays, obesity is becoming a huge threat to kids in first-world countries and
due to
,
this
some people agreed that fast
food
or unhealthy snacks advertisement should be prohibited in
schools
and colleges. I strongly agree that sugary products and fast
food
shouldn't be promoted in
schools
.
This
essay will discuss it with relevant examples. Advertisement is all around us, we can’t run away from
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. One of the most important aims of advertising is to persuade consumers to buy a certain product. When you think of
children
in
schools
, they more likely wouldn't know what is best for their health and promoting sugary products can be dangerous for kids in the long run and cause not just obesity but other illness as well.
Moreover
,
children
are already exposed to fast
food
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
outside of school, at least
this
should stop at
schools
where parents can't control their
children
.
Food
preferences are developed with age and companies know how to attract
children
, adding toys to fast
food
menus is one of their strategies.
However
, if that stops in the
schools
and giving the choices of healthy snacks to
children
can improve their
overall
health and protect them from childhood obesity.
In addition
to that
schools
can provide more healthy
food
options for kids at less prices.
To conclude
, It is the best decision not to expose
children
unhealthy
Change preposition
to unhealthy
show examples
, sugary products in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
as
schools
are where education starts for many. Rather than
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
food
advertisements should be promoted in the
schools
.
Submitted by elff.bgc on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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