IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Solution essay. The amount of obese people have grown, what should they do?

#amount #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In past decades,
people
Use synonyms
 were more concerned about having a healthy life and controlling
weight
Use synonyms
 for many reasons.
Although
Linking Words
 in some regions of the
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 the cases of obesity and health problems have greatly increased. I think that one of the major problems is that
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to eat healthily, and fast foods are an easy option. Another problem is that some
people
Use synonyms
 do not like to do exercises to improve their physical fitness levels.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are solutions to these two problems. Having a quick meal is always a good option when a person does not have
time
Use synonyms
 to cook at that moment. Most of the population, especially the ones who have access to cheaper fast-
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants get used to that option when they do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to prepare a proper healthy meal. For
this
Linking Words
, a good solution is, during free
time
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 can cook healthy
food
Use synonyms
 and put it in small portions keeping them in the freezer for quick preparation later: simply reheat and serve. By doing
this
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 always have healthy
food
Use synonyms
 stored in their homes. A second major problem to keeping a balanced diet and proper
weight
Use synonyms
 is by doing some exercise to improve physical fitness, not just to look good, but
also
Linking Words
 to be healthy and avoid becoming obese. Working out at the gym is always the first thought to lose
weight
Use synonyms
, but
people
Use synonyms
 forget that doing some other activities could help, like biking and hiking, to improve blood circulation and vitamin D uptake. In conclusion, studies show that the high numbers of obesity are caused by many
people
Use synonyms
 consuming junk
food
Use synonyms
 and not doing proper exercise. Of course,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to stop eating fast
food
Use synonyms
, but decreased consumption helps. Doing some enjoyable exercises
also
Linking Words
 helps. Having a balance of healthy and exercising is not easy, but if a person wants to have a healthy life, live longer, and reduce
weight
Use synonyms
, they must do
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by angelinabondarrenko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: