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Band 4.5

School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and back to teaching basic study skills.

#school #children #computers #effect #skills #teachers #classroom #costs #study
Pupils are
addicting
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
 to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
computers
 .
This
 is causing
terrifying
Add an article
a terrifying
show examples
 impact on one's important skills
such
 as reading ,
writing
Correct word choice
and writing
show examples
 . Teachers do not need to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
use
computers
 during the lesson at all costs. It is
useful
Correct quantifier usage
more useful
show examples
educate
Add the particle
to educate
show examples
 ordinary
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 than
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
. In my point of view, using
computers
 in
school
 is beneficial for every single student .
For instance
, students can learn modern
technology
 in order to study .
Also
, it can be supportive for professors. Because all classes
limited
Add a missing verb
are limited
show examples
 during
this
 time teachers can not lecture every single pupil .
However
 ,
computers
 might deal with that problem. What is more, most
school children
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
 used to spend their time in front of
screen
Add an article
the screen
a screen
show examples
 . They play games , make programs , learn languages made friends on social media .
Future
Correct article usage
The future
show examples
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
do not need to have to know reading and writing skills . Working with artificial intelligence can replace
school
 subjects in the future.
Thus
 ,
computers
 take possession and spread in many countries. Who is curious about
technology
 relate work
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can become
Information
Correct article usage
an Information
show examples
Technology
 developer is which job is attracting a lot of students because one's can make big money . Some people argued that working with
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a serious effect on their children . Because it should cause health issues
such
 as eyesight ,
bad
Correct word choice
and bad
show examples
 posture . Parents mention that schools should place more emphasis on skills .
This
 is because professors must have a good knowledge base on their subjects and one's primary role is to import information.
That is
 why teachers do not require any robots . All in all
school
 children tend to watch lap top.
This
 is causing ,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of responsibility to learn other activities or show less interest
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 class .
As a result
 ,schools have to tackle that problem
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Reliance
  • Literacy skills
  • Handwriting
  • Cognitive development
  • Memory retention
  • Digital engagement
  • Tactile experience
  • Enhance
  • Diversify
  • Balanced skill set
  • Traditional teaching methods
  • Digital literacy
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Reading comprehension
  • Critical thinking
  • Technological proficiency
  • Educational technology
  • Foundational skills
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