IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

“In general, the relationship among members of family is looser and looser. What are the causes and effects of this phenomenon?

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Nowadays, numerous
people
Use synonyms
 mention that the family bond is increasingly looser. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is primarily caused by technological
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
 and globalization. I believe some
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 include
prevailing
Correct article usage
the prevailing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social networking services and the growing popularity of studying abroad. The first cause of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is that technology has dramatically improved worldwide.
This
Linking Words
 change has introduced social networking services
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram and Twitter to every individual;
moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vast number of
people
Use synonyms
 become addicted to
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 these applications around the world.
Although
Linking Words
 it is essential for the public to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networking
survices
Correct your spelling
services
 in terms of connecting with others, using
those application
Change the determiner
that application
those applications
show examples
 require
consumer
Add an article
the consumer
a consumer
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 to spend lots of time. In
this
Linking Words
 case, many individuals
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
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 to
be struggle
Change the verb form
be struggling
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 with preparing time in order to
buil
Correct your spelling
build
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
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 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. The second cause of
those situation
Change the determiner
that situation
those situations
show examples
 is that globalization has progressed. In
this
Linking Words
 development, living abroad to study has gradually gained popularity. It was
common
Add an article
a common
the common
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 pattern that every family member
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 in their house and share their daily life in the past few
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 spend much
time
Correct quantifier usage
more time
show examples
 outside than
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
 house in the modern days.
As a result
Linking Words
, some family
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
 might find it
chalenging
Correct your spelling
challenging
 to attain the
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to maintain
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
 connection with their family. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological progress and globalization have caused too much usage of social networking
survices
Correct your spelling
services
 and
separeting
Correct your spelling
separating
separation
 from family because of migration. These phenomena
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
make
Change the verb form
made
show examples
people
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
restrict building great
relatiohship
Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
 with their family members.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • geographical mobility
  • close-knit
  • individualistic cultures
  • personal achievement
  • collective
  • paradoxically
  • economic pressures
  • isolation
  • emotional support
  • mental health issues
  • traditional family roles
  • external support structures
  • community groups
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